Contents - Click a link to skip to the section you want to read
- 1 Cheesy menus
- 2 The alien look
- 3 Travelling becomes a nightmare
- 4 Being vegan turns dinner parties into minefields
- 5 “Don’t you miss x, y or z”
- 6 Non-vegans thinking that you want to fight
- 7 “What about fish?”
- 8 Label checking
- 9 Feeling like you’re a criminal
- 10 The concerned friend
- 11 “So, what do you eat?”
- 12 Vegan jokes
- 13 Vegans that annoy vegans…and everyone else
- 14 That’s enough moaning from us, now it’s over to you…
Now, don’t get us wrong, we love being vegan and all that the vegan lifestyle gives us but, as with anything in life, it does have its occasional annoyances.
Some are minor, some are major…all are annoying.
So, in the spirit of venting to complete strangers, here’s a quick list of things that annoy vegans.
BTW – Before you start to lose your minds, this is a tongue in cheek list. Behave yourselves!
No, we’re not talking about garish colors and poorly drawn cartoon characters adorning our food lists. We’re talking real cheese, here. You know, the rotting cow lactation derivative that has exploded in popularity since they started taking the fat out of the milk (yep, they’re just selling it back to you, folks).
Every restaurateur has now accepted that they need to include at least one veggie option on their menus, but veganism seems to be lagging a long way behind. EVERYTHING HAS F*****G CHEESE ON IT!
Just because we’re not in the meat-eating gang doesn’t mean that we don’t want to hang out with our buddies that love a steak, so is one little vegan dish on each menu too much to ask? We think not.
Come on guys. We’re not professional chefs and yet we all conjure up tasty meals day after day in our tiny kitchens without the need to smother everything in some animal byproduct, so why can’t you?
Sort it out. Pronto.
The alien look
We’re now well into the 21st century and yet whenever the word vegan comes into the conversation people pull their chin in and give you THAT look. You know, the one that automatically has you questioning whether or not you’ve grown a second head since you last looked in a mirror.
Seriously everyone, this has to stop. If anything, it should be us looking at you funny for eating animals while your Facebook profile proudly declares that you’re an animal lover. Now that is weird.
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Travelling becomes a nightmare
Travelling is great. You get to learn about different cultures and meet people you wouldn’t ordinarily meet. However, when it comes to being vegan, some parts of the world can be tricky to visit.
And we’re not talking just about places off the beaten track here. Even some of the sprawling metropolises that have taken root on the planet haven’t caught up with the vegan vibe yet. I mean, honestly, hands up if you’ve packed you’re Nutribullet in with your smalls.
Plus, there’s always the feeling of when in Rome and all that. Sampling the local cuisine is an extension of your travel experience, but when you’re a committed vegan many of these delicacies are most definitely off the menu.
Being vegan turns dinner parties into minefields
And we’re not just talking about attending them, either. Even inviting people round to yours becomes a battle. You just know that some wit is going to say something when you ask them over.
That being said, attending is definitely worse. At least you know that you’ll get fed at home, right?
“Don’t you miss x, y or z”
Maybe we do, maybe we don’t. But do you really think reminding us of it is a good thing?
Non-vegans thinking that you want to fight
What I choose to eat is up to me, what you choose to eat is up to you.
Okay, so I turned down the burger that you offered me (politely, of course). That doesn’t automatically mean that I want to have a full-on argument about our dietary differences.
But wait, you do, don’t you?
“What about fish?”
FFS, they have eyes. How much more not like a plant do you want something to be?
And, yes, we know that potatoes have eyes too. Smartass.
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While some things have a hearty vegan friendly logo plastered on the packaging – usually stuff that is blatantly vegan anyway, like say, a bunch of bananas – plenty of other stuff makes us do a whole lot of reading that we could do without.
I reckon I must read the equivalent of a good novel every year in food labelling. Come on people, sort this one out.
Surely it can’t be that hard to proudly display something that quickly tells us that your goods are fit for vegan consumption, can it?
Feeling like you’re a criminal
Okay, maybe that’s a little strong, but people do love to interrogate your sorry vegan ass when you let it slip that only plants pass your lips.
While genuine interest is perfectly fine, the snidely sneering line of questioning is definitely something that annoys vegans. So stop, already.
The concerned friend
We’ve all got one…and we all know the look.
I’m touched that you are worried about me, but seriously, how many times do I have to tell you that I’m really not going to die if I stick to eating plants?
“So, what do you eat?”
All vegans should record the answer to this one onto their smartphones and just hit play every time this ol’ chestnut gets rolled out.
Jokes can be hilarious, when you hear them the first time!
I’m all for a little gentle joshing, but can you please try and come up with something a little different to, “How do you know if someone is vegan?”
Vegans that annoy vegans…and everyone else
One of the worst things that can happen to a vegan is being accused of being one of those vegans.
It is possible to not eat animal products and not annoy anyone at all, yet some people go out of their way to be a pain in the butt.
Truth is, they’d be a pain in the butt with a steak hanging out of their mouths. It has nothing to do with veganism.
That’s enough moaning from us, now it’s over to you…
There you have it, 13 things that annoy vegans…over and over again!
What are your biggest bugbears about being vegan? Let us know in the comments below.